in the end you're just another spoiled rich kid who doesnt know how to appreciate people who loves you dearly.

i am utterly dissapointed it has to end this way

finally unemployed 😂 dont worry, i will find a new job sooner or later, for now im gonna focus on whats already in hand, tuition and family business.

sister just got married meaning that im next in line. I know i am next but i dont know when and i dont with who. life would be so easy if i could just choose a spouse and the whole world agree 😐 but it never was that easy. it never is and never will.even if you two love each other so much but fate has a different idea, then theres nothing you can do about it except for pray that Allah give you strenght to let go

just finished watching 'your name' illegally. i cant watch it on cinema cause i need to save me money since i am unemployed.i did cry a bit but im just wondering if boyfriend cried because of the movie or because he misses in adolescent can be pretty complicated at times 😔 

please Ya Allah, give me something to smile every day and thank you for everything you have given me. Alhamdulillah 

one day

my mantra for most of the time now

one day i will forget you
one day i will find someone who'll make me happy like you did
one day i will be strong enough to let go


only have another two weeks *tears*
i wanted to skip school tomorrow so bad cause still too tired from sportsday yesterday. plus fake boyfriend is not coming tomorrow. yes, i have a fake boyfriend. it is just an anime thing, nothing serious. haha
but thinking that my time with the kids are already limited, i might as well make a good use of what is left

sports day yesterday was fun, i hope i didnt get too emotional during the games. my team was awesome. i am team red this year, we did won a lot but i dont know if we're leading. it would be awesome if we won this year cause my team had already won last year. i am so proud of my team nonetheless.

change topic,
most of my friends are gonna be 30 next year. my oh my, so it has come. the 30 series.i already see myself as an old woman during my 25th, but now 30???i dont really mind on being single n unmarried, my concern is more towards my career. do i have one? i dont think so *laughing at myself* too sum up my life now,i am a happy content loser *laughing at myself again*

anyways, got a big plan with siblings. please ya rabb ease everything. just wanna give back to the parents.

till then

wallflower and a content loser

fix you

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


one day you're gonna make mistakes
and i hope im not gonna be there to watch it
but remember that im always gonna be here to fix it
cause when you love something or someone too much,
you're gonna wanna keep them to yourself
it is just so easy to make me happy...

everyone is busy figuring out what i should do after quiting my job except for me...eheh... i guess im the type of person who always choose the easiest way out. 

in a way, i am pretty darn good in hiding my miseries. Not that i ignored it, i just dont feel the need of sharing them. I have problems at school, I have family problem, love life, crisis etc. I just dont tell them to people that often. Not even with my family and close friends (which i dont have many) maybe thats why people assume i am problem less or ignorant, and i am ok with that. I like it when people assume i am problemless, it means im not troubling them with my problems (make sense?)

i pity those whose always rambling about their problems. I really do. Not the kind of annoyed pity, but more of i wish i could help you kind of pity. I wish I could tell you that this is all temporary and you should be focusing on more important things.and that all of this shall pass.

i have people trying to share their problems with me, but i guess lately i am becoming a less good listener thatn before.or maybe because i feel that their problem is too small compare to whatever is happening to the world right now. I shouldnt be like that i Know, cause different people has different levels of sensititivity. i am becoming denser day by day 😔

i guess im being okay with people ignoring me, leads to me being ignorant towards other people as well. and the problem is that, not everyone is like me.

forgive my low level of sensitiveness

till then,