happy born day ye old lady!

turned 29 yesterday, no celebration whatsoever. kids and most of my friends didnt even remember. Neeya did wished me tho, and of coz Maryam and Naufal too. Oh well, no big deal. sometimes i have the feeling that im the only person in the whole wide world whom actually try to remember everyones' birthday. i still remember my childhood best friend's birthday, eventho we're no longer close. im special that way.

anyway, i honestly feels like 22. Hahaha. No kidding, i still dont see myself as a 29 year old. and that is not a good thing. and soon im gonna reach 30 😐 i tried to not overthink the future, i dont think its healthy to overthink the future. ive tried making plans, but end up achieving none. but im not upset at all, everything that i have today is what Allah had planned for me, and He is the best planner after all. So why wanna be upset right?

i just hope that i would finally found the courage to drive a car 😑

welp, till then

Ramadan kareem 😊


at times i have the feelings that you might be missing me too. but most of the time, when im all concious and wise, i remembered that you no longer wanna be like you used to. And I would accept that and move on

this only happens sometimes


just now i almost cried (almost,no tears yet) because i got frustrated of myself. ive been this way before, back when i lost my purse for the gazilion of time. i cried because im always losing stuff. like just, now i cant remember where i put the exam papers. i end up having to photocopy all of it again. i also misplace another exam papers which was the pinnacle of my frustration but i found it at last, and that had stopped me from bursting into tears.

i guess im gonna have to organize my workplace a bit

welp, till then

hello 2017


I know am probably too late to wish happy new year but who cares.Tisya just reminded me that i actually owned a blog 😂 cant believe ive stop writing for almost 6 months 🌚

a lot had happened, bad and good, same ol stuff. Have i changed towards the better? I dont know. i am more commited towards my job tho. im learning to not get overly attach with anyone including the kids.Work life is okay. I hate my boss, but he could be okay at times. i fake laugh to most of his jokes and will be super energetic if he is not around 😂

love life? mehhh. although i can say that i am more ready than last year eventho my definition of ready is really not that affirmative 🌚 lets just say, i dont really care whats gonna happen, when its gonna happen, im just gonna show a lil bit of effort this year compared to last year.Am i in love with anyone? yes, i dont know untill when. but is he gonna be the one?not necessarily. You cant always get what you want y'know. whoever he is, i just hope he could accept all my flaws as well as i could accept his.

remembered a line in 'abundance of katherines'. "i may not get anything good by staying, but at least nothing bad is gonna happen either" (not accurate but more or less thats what the lines meant). 
i so can relate to this cause i think thats how ive been rolling my life. by being in the safe zone.and its getting a lil bit too comfy :/

i guess thats it for now. im gonna write more whenever i remember that i actually own a blog
in the end you're just another spoiled rich kid who doesnt know how to appreciate people who loves you dearly.

i am utterly dissapointed it has to end this way

finally unemployed 😂 dont worry, i will find a new job sooner or later, for now im gonna focus on whats already in hand, tuition and family business.

sister just got married meaning that im next in line. I know i am next but i dont know when and i dont with who. life would be so easy if i could just choose a spouse and the whole world agree 😐 but it never was that easy. it never is and never will.even if you two love each other so much but fate has a different idea, then theres nothing you can do about it except for pray that Allah give you strenght to let go

just finished watching 'your name' illegally. i cant watch it on cinema cause i need to save me money since i am unemployed.i did cry a bit but im just wondering if boyfriend cried because of the movie or because he misses school.kids in adolescent can be pretty complicated at times 😔 

please Ya Allah, give me something to smile every day and thank you for everything you have given me. Alhamdulillah 

one day

my mantra for most of the time now

one day i will forget you
one day i will find someone who'll make me happy like you did
one day i will be strong enough to let go